New Perspective
by jarec
Summary: The Joker is in a rut. Harley makes a suggestion. All of Gotham is left baffled.A bit of silliness from a frazzled author.
1. Chapter 1

Harley Quinn meandered around the old penthouse suite which was her and Mista J's new hideout. It wasn't as dilapidated as some of their other lairs- the building had only been abandoned for a few years, after all, so most of the structure was still all right. The furnishings were a bit spare and ratty, and the place as a whole was filthy, but that wasn't anything she couldn't fix. A little dusting, some redecorating, maybe a controlled fire here and there, and the place'd be a real home. Lost in a haze of domestic bliss, Harley wandered into the main room, to find the Joker sitting in an armchair before the window. The Crown Prince of Crime had a look of deep sadness on his usually merry face, which caused Harley to race to his side.

"Puddin'! What's wrong?! Are ya okay?!" She cried, bringing a hand up to the Joker's forehead. Even as she did it, she realized it was a bad idea. The Joker did not like being touched, and wasn't hesitant about reminding her of that fact. She braced herself for the blow… which never came. Instead the Joker let out a deep sigh.

"I've got Villains Block, Harl. I'm out of ideas. I've been wracking my brain ever since we bribed our way out of Arkham, and I just can't think of anything new to do to this dreadful town, My muse is GONE!" the clown sighed again. "Maybe I really am sane. Maybe it's time to retire, and let younger hands take up the reins of villainy. We could get a nice place in Florida, and spend my golden years quietly killing tourists."

Harley gasped at that- she remembered too well the last time the Joker had given up crime, and how horrible it had been for her. With a shudder, she vowed to keep that from happening again. Moving around behind the chair, she put her hands on his shoulders and began to gently massage him. "Don't talk silly, Mista J. I bet there's lotsa stuff ya can do! Ya could poison the water supply; give everyone a terminal case of the giggles."

The Joker shook his head. "Already tried that once. Batman stopped me before I could even begin dumping the toxin. He's such a killjoy."

"Oh. Okay, ya could try explosives- blow up Gotham Stadium during a Knights game!"

"Tried that too. Batman again."

"Well, ya could always kidnap-"

"Tried it. Batman."

Harley scowled. "Ya didn't even here who I think we should snatch!"

Joker sighed. "It doesn't matter, Harl; I've kidnapped everyone of importance in this town at least once. The mayor, the city council members, the police chief, the commissioner… Everyone but the Postmaster! Batman stopped me each and every time. Face it Harl, I'm in a rut. There just isn't anything NEW for me to do!"

Hesitantly, she decided to risk an opinion- always a danger with the Joker. "Puddin? Why don't ya try one of yer old plans again? Maybe fix it so that this time, ol' Butt-man CAN'T stop us? I mean, it ain't really repeating yourself if it didn't work the first time, right?"

The Joker rose from his seat and spun around to glare angrily down at his moll. With a squeak, Harley started to back away, but the Joker moved forward with her.

"Now you listen here, my sweet- the Joker does NOT do reruns! Any idiot can keep trying the same thing over and over until he gets it right! Killer Moth, Firefly, Lockdown- they all have ONE shtick they keep doing, over and over again ad nauseum! Only a true criminal genius is capable of coming up with NEW schemes each and every time, the way I do!" At this point, the Joker seemed to just run out of steam. HE sat down on a nearby crate and let his shoulders sag. "Or at least, I used to."

Harley thought frantically, trying to find some way to cheer her Puddin' up. Despite appearances, Harley wasn't a stupid woman- childish, yes, but far from stupid. But creative planning was not her strong point and never had been. Instead, she fell back on something she'd learned in school.

Sitting down on the Joker's lap, she gently cradled his head against her chest. "Puddin', ya wanna hear something I picked up in University? When I was in the third year of my Bachelor's, I hadda take an art class. It was real basic, Art 101, y'know? Anyway, the professor a this class was this snooty European type- had this real snarky voice, too, and kept sayin' how much better Europe was than America. But he said one thing that really stuck with me"

Joker looked up at his girl curiously. She rarely spoke about her university days (or any time before meeting him) and he wondered what it was that prompted this trip down memory lane. Sensing his interest, Harley continued with her anecdote.

"He said that the essence of artistic genius was to see old things through new eyes. That all great art begins when someone looks at the world in a new way. Maybe that's what you really need- a change of perspective ta kick start the old creative juices."

The Joker looked at her dubiously. "You think so?"

"Sure!" Harley enthused "Look at ol' Mista Freeze! He's tried that whole Freeze-Gotham-Solid thing a dozen times or more, right? But tonight he's tryin again, only this time, he's gonna do it in some new way up at Gotham Observatory. He said he got the idea when he looked at aerial photos of the city- said looking at Gotham that way gave him an idea."

The Joker was silent for a moment. Then, he slowly rose to his feet, taking care to set Harley gently onto hers. He bent down, and kissed her on the cheek. "Harley" he said quietly, "You're the best. Go gas up the Jokermobile- Daddy has an idea."

A/N  
I know, I should finish my other stories before I start another one, but this idea was just crying out for immediate attention. Anyway, it shouldn't take too long.


	2. Chapter 2

Within the main chamber of the Gotham Observatory, Victor Freeze nodded to himself. His plans was proceeding perfectly, as his assistants worked to transform the colossal telescope into a gigantic version of his own freeze ray. He still marveled at the suddenness of his inspiration- as he viewed the aerial photographs of Gotham City it had struck him that a massive lens could be used to both amplify and widen the beam of his freeze cannon. He would be able to exact cold vengeance upon the entire city, freezing entire blocks at a time! Once he'd heard about the powerful telescope at the Gotham Observatory, he knew he had to seize it.

Of course, it hadn't been quite as simple as that. From long experience he knew that his plan must be perfect or Batman would stop him. So he had watched the Observatory for two long weeks- monitoring phone calls, emails, security patrols, even the schedule by which the custodians cleaned the rooms. By the time he was ready to move, he had the complete routine for the entire building, and would be able to perfectly disguise his work until the moment he started to freeze the city solid. Even now, more than an hour after the lightening assault that had seized the building; his minions were carefully maintaining the illusion that all was well. They answered the phones- either explaining that they were new hires or using high-tech voice synthesizers to masquerade as employees- and wandered through the halls, making sure outsiders could see them through the windows. So far, there was no hint on the police radio that the city knew of its danger.

Now he watched as his assistants (mostly disgraced students and former academics) carefully made his dream a reality. He glanced to the corner, where the Observatory's staff were tied together. Feeling strangely talkative in his triumph, he strode over to them and squatted down to address them.

"You should feel privileged" he told them, his suit's voice box making his emotionless voice sound even colder. "You will soon witness something that has not been seen in several centuries- the death of an entire city. In another twenty minutes, all that will be left of Gotham is a frozen wasteland."

The scientists struggled and cried out beneath their gags, some even weeping. But Freeze was unmoved by their emotions- he would soon have his vengeance and that was all that mattered.

Suddenly, his suits communicator chimed. Tapping a button on his chest, Freeze opened a channel to whoever was trying to contact him. "Report."

"Sir, this is Atkinson at the front door" came the worried reply "Th-There's a car approaching the Observatory, moving pretty fast"

The frozen felon frowned, and reached for his ever-present freeze ray. "The Batmobile?" he asked his tone as unemotional as ever.

"N-No boss" Atkinson said, his voice nervous but also puzzled. "It's- It's a convertible. It's speeding up, and- hey, HEY! It- It just crashed through the gate! It's not st-"

A loud crash echoed through the building, as Atkinson's voice cut off abruptly. Freeze armed his weapon and turned to his minions. "Someone has entered the building- I do not think it is Batman. But if it is, ensure that his welcome is a cold one."

The men hesitantly began to prepare themselves for combat, forming up into a group- presumably to charge the intruder en masse. Freeze was not optimistic about their chances. He had not selected them for their combat skills, but for their technical abilities- he had never relied on hired muscle, and in any case had planned to avoid confrontation. Still, there were six of them- it was not inconceivable that, through sheer numbers, they might hold the enemy long enough for Freeze to bring his trademark weapon to bear.

However, before the men could ready themselves, the sound of an engine was heard approaching the room. With a crash, a purple convertible smashed through the doors to the main chamber, coming to a halt in the center of the room. To Freeze's considerable surprise, the Joker and his side kick leapt from the vehicle. The Joker pointed one finger at Freeze dramatically, while the girl shifted into a combat stance.

"Mister Freeze!" He cried out, with no trace of humor in his voice "I'm going to stop your little plan cold!"

Mister Freeze actually lowered his weapon in shock. "Joker, what are you doing here? If this is some manner of jest, rest assured I am not amused"

"This is snow joke, Freeze. Surrender quietly, and I promise it will go easier on you!" The Joker said, his voice grim. When Freeze made no move to surrender, the clown turned to his girl. "Harley, deal with the thugs, I'll put Freeze on ice."

"Right you are, Mista J!" the cheery clown girl said, before back flipping into the center of Freeze's minions. Normally, a woman outnumbered six to one would be in serious jeopardy. However, Harley Quinn was an experienced combatant facing a number of largely untrained opponents, who had positioned themselves in a large group. Harley found it almost pathetically easy to dodge their attacks, while lashing out with fists and feet. Surprisingly, she never attempted any lethal or crippling strikes- inexplicably, the murderous moll seemed to be fighting to incapacitate her foes.

To their credit, the hapless hirelings were taking the blows pretty well. They knew who they were fighting- the Joker and Harley Quinn were legendary monsters in Gotham City. They knew full well that if they lost, either their erstwhile employer would freeze them or the Joker would torture them to death. They were fighting for their very lives, and they knew it.

Meanwhile, at the center of the chamber, the Joker and Mister Freeze circled one another warily. Despite all past experience, and despite his own instincts, the icy super villain was beginning to suspect that this was not some elaborate, tasteless gag. For whatever reason, the JOKER had taken it upon himself to stop the destruction of Gotham City. That could not be tolerated.

However, he did not want to kill the Joker- there was such a thing as professional courtesy after all. It was never formally articulated among the Rogues, but it was there- you did not attack a fellow Rogue, or everyone else would turn on you. But more than that, Victor Freeze was a scientist, and even now was driven to understand the mysteries of the world. If he killed the Joker, he might never understand what was going on here.

Freeze snapped off a quick blast from his ray, intending to freeze the Joker in his tracks. However, the Mad Mountebank of Mayhem easily dodged the blast. Freeze continued to spray the area with shots from his ray, freezing computers, machinery, and even one of his own minions. All the while, the Joker easily tumbled and dodged around the

"Freeze, chill out and surrender" the Joker called "You're just making it harder on yourself"

Behind the glass dome, Freeze grimaced. "Cease your nonsensical puns, Joker. What do you want?"

"I told you Freeze, your plans end now!" Joker replied, leaping to strike at the hard metal of his opponent's suit.

Freeze smiled grimly at that. He had had few dealings with the Joker, and most of what he knew was based on hearsay. Clearly, rumor had overstated the clown's intelligence- no one with any sense whatsoever would attempt barehanded attacks against the hardened steel of his sub-zero suit. He easily blocked the blow and sent the clown sprawling with a backhand of his own. But the Joker bounced back to his feet and went back on the attack.

Meanwhile, Harley Quinn finally put down the last of Mister Freeze's sub-par minions. Pausing to wipe the sweat from her brow, Harley stopped to consider how best to restrain her fallen enemies. Looking around the massive chamber, she spotted a spool of wire near the telescope, presumably to be used in turning it into a freeze cannon. After a great deal of effort, she managed to get the thugs tied up. "Man, how do Batbreath an' his brats make this look so easy?" she asked herself, as she watched her man fight.

Mister Freeze was rapidly losing his patience- the Joker was easily dodging around his ray blasts and his punches. More, the clown wasn't acting the way Freeze had been told he normally did- for one thing, he hadn't so much as chuckled the entire time. For another, the Joker had yet to draw a single weapon, instead attacking his enemy with bare hands. Out of the corner of his eye, Freeze noticed the clown's sidekick tying up his minions. Determined to go rescue his worthless hirelings, Freeze lunged forward and caught the Joker in his grip. His plan was to crush the Joker's body until either the clown expired or became too injured to present a threat, before going to subdue the madwoman.

However, instead of struggling against the suits powerful grip, the Joker wriggled one hand free and slapped it against the side of his opponents arm. Instantly, electricity coursed through the suits complex circuitry, rendering Mister Freeze immobile. Effortlessly slipping from Freeze' now slack grip, the Joker held up one hand to display the electric buzzer secreted there.

"One thing you should know about me, Freeze" The Joker said "I always stack the deck in my favor. Harley, untie the hostages and call the police. It's time to put Mister Freeze back in the cooler."

Understandably, the Joker and Harley decided not to wait around for the police to arrive. Instead, the moment hi8s girlfriend hung up the phone, the Clown Prince of Gotham raced to his battered car and hopped into the driver's seat, with Harley following suite. Soon, the pair were racing away into the ni8ght, leaving a gaggle of grateful but bewildered researchers behind them.

As they drove, Harley turned to her lover. "Feelin' a little better, Puddin'?"

The Joker sighed and nodded. "A bit, Harl. I have a few new ideas for gadgets, but no new plans. This change of perspective idea of yours is working, but not fast enough!"

"Aw. Cheer up Sweetie Bear" Harley cooed, leaning her head on his shoulder "It just takes time! C'mon, give it a little while longer. Besides, didja see the look on ol' Snow Miser's face? Wasn't it great?"

The Joker grinned. "It was classic, wasn't it?" Laughing, the two clowns raced away into the night.

A/N  
What did you think I meant by seeing things from a new perspective? Incidentally, look at the Joker's dialogue and guess which movie I just saw again on a dare.


	3. Chapter 3

Arnold Wesker was not a happy man. Oh, sure, he'd escaped from Arkham again and been reunited with Mister Scarface- who'd actually been glad to see him for once. For some reason, Mister Scarface had been in a sewer when Arnold found him- his employer would only tell Wesker that "da Gat and da Goid weren't watchin' close enough".. Mister Scarface had actually told Arnold he'd done well fishing him out of the sewer, and thanked him! Arnold couldn't remember when he'd been so happy! Praise from Mister Scarface was like rain on the desert- it came seldom and was always welcomed. It gave him a warm feeling to know that his protector appreciated him.  
But that had been days ago, and now Mister Scarface was leading his small gang on a robbery. Arnold didn't like the gang- they were rude to him and laughed at him. But Mister Scarface was adamant, and that meant that Arnold had to stumble around a musty, foul-smelling waterfront warehouse in the middle of the night, while Rhino and the others looked for a crate of imported weapons.

"Come on, youse jerks!" Mister Scarface yelled, glaring down at his men from the catwalk above the warehouse floor. The men were gathered below in a circle, waiting for their boss to give them directions " Move it! I wanna ge outta here 'fore da Gat gusts in here! Rhino, you and Jimmy lake da left side. Vic, you an' your mob take da gack…"

Suddenly, Arnold heard a very familiar sound. It was the whistling noise of a small object flying through the air. Mister Scarface must have heard it too, because he stopped talking and began to turn his head this way and that, as he raised his tommy gun into the firing position. A loud, metallic noise indicated that whatever it was had hit something. Sticking out of the concrete floor of the warehouse was a white rectangular object, about three inches long. For a long moment, Scarface's gang stayed stock still. No one wanted to be the first to approach the mysterious object.

Eventually, Rhino looked up at his boss. "It don't look like onea the bats gizmos, boss. Maybe it ain't him?"

"Sure" Scarface replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm sure there's some otha loon runnin' around at night, tossin' stuff at crooks."

One of the newer thugs, Handsome Jimmy Dimartino, worked up his courage enough to pluck the object from the ground. Holding it up for examination, he snorted. "Hey guys, it's just a playing card! What kinda- GAH!"

Even as it slipped from his shocked grasp, the card continued to hiss and pour forth a thick, purplish gas. Within seconds, the gas cloud had explanded to cover all of Scarface's henchmen. At first, the men began coughing, but soon there was the thump of bodies hitting the floor. Wesker craned over the side of the catwalk- despite his dislike for Scarface's gang, he didn't want anyone to die. As the gas slowly dissipated, he could make out the fallen thugs lying on the ground. Arnold feared the worst, until Rhino's mouth dropped open and the huge man began to snore. Arnold sighed loudly, relieve that it had apparently just been knock out gas.

"I wouldn't relax just yet if I were you, Bucko" a voice from the shadows declared. To Wesker's shock, the Joker stepped out into the light. His pale skin glowed in the harsh light, resembling polished bone more than human skin. The clown wasn't smiling, which troubled the Ventriloquist deeply- if the Joker smiled when he killed people, how angry must he be to look stern?

"J-Joker?" Arnold murmured, wonderingly. What was going on here?

"Joker?" Scarface repeated. "Whatta you doing here?"

"I should think it was obvious, Scarface" The Joker replied "I'm putting a stop to your little heist and putting you behind bars. You're under citizen's arrest!"

"Arrest?" Scarface repeated blankly "What is dis, one a dem reality shows? Are we on TV?"

"Oh! Maybe it's that funny candid camera program, Mister Scarface!" Arnold said. "I like that one!"

"Hey, maybe it is! Dummy, straighten my suit- I gotta look good for the cameras! Never know how many dames're watchin', lookin' for a guy in a classy suit"

"I'm afraid the only cameras you'll be seeing are the ones taking your mugshots" Joker said, slowly walking towards the schizophrenic duo. "Come along quietly, now."

In an instant, the miniature Mafioso's machinegun moved to cover the Joker. "Gack off, Joker" he growled "Dis ain't none a your guisness. Me an' the goys're here for some weapons an' we ain't leavin' til we got em."

"I can't let you do that, Scarface, those weapons don't belong to you." the Joker said, never moving from his spot on the catwalk. "Now put down the gun, and everyone can walk away from this safe and healthy"

"Funny" Scarface remarked, a sneer in his voice "I was about to say the same to you" The tiny terro cocked his gun and prepared to fire. However, before he could pull the trigger, a mallet struck Arnold from behind, sending him into unconsciousness. Bereft of his schizophrenic 'partner', Scarface tumbled lifelessly to the iron floor of the catwalk, his tommygun firing off a few bullets as it struck the floor. Behind him, Harley smiled and dropped her weapon- she'd hated to hit poor ol' Arnie, but NO ONE threatened her Puddin'.

"See, Puddin'? Your new gas-cards worked great!" she exclaimed, gesturing down to the snoring goons. "I told ya you'd get your muse back!"

The Joker sighed. "I came up with a new gadget, Harl, not a new plan. We need to keep going with this- I can feel it working, but it's not there yet."

"Besides" Harley said with a smirk "Can't ya just picture the cops faces when they find out who's been helping them? It'll be priceless!" Just thinking about the poor, flummoxed flatfoot who found their latest prisoners made Harley start giggling.

Almost against his will, the Joker started chuckling. "It IS a pretty image, isn't it? Now, tie these goons up and let's be on our way."

* * *

"Could you repeat that, Bullock?" Jim Gordon said, removing his glasses to rub at his eyes. The Warehouse dust was irritating, and there was still a remnant of gas in the air- not enough to be harmful but enough to irritate the eyes.

Bullock sighed, plucking the toothpick from his mouth. "Like I said, Commish. The Joker is our mysterious new vigilante- we found a razor sharp metal playing card that'd been treated with some kinda weird chemical. We also found a big, cartoony mallet- Forensics says that's what bopped the Ventriloquist."

Gordon sighed- this was going to be a long day. "So the Joker stopped a heist, without killing anyone, and left all the loot for us to find. Why?"

Bullock shrugged. "I got enough on my plate without trying to get inside Laughing Boy's head. You want that, call in the Caped Kook."

"He already did" Batman said, stepping out of the shadows which obscured the corner of the warehouse.

Bullock grunted in disgust and stalked off to supervise the rest of the officers, leaving Gordon alone with Batman. Gordon watched him go then turned to his friend and ally.

"What do you think he's up to? Is this a bid to muscle out other criminals? An attempt to improve his public image? Or some elaborate joke at our expense?"

Batman strode forward to examine the scene. Though Scarface and his thugs were long gone, the bright purple rope used to restrain them remained. Picking it up, the Dark Knight idly fingered it as he thought. Eventually, he spoke, in a musing tone. "I don't think this is an attempt to force out competitors- the Joker isn't in the habit of leaving his victims alive. Either he kills someone or leaves them alone, there's no halfway with him. As for reshaping his image, since when has the Joker ever shown the least concern for his criminal status? He relishes being the most feared criminal in Gotham City."

"So" Gordon concluded "That leaves us with just one alternative. The Joker is making fools of us- and most likely, of you in particular."

"I don't think so." Batman replied, kneeling to place the cord back on the ground. "Where's the mockery? The spite? If the Joker were mocking us, it would be more obvious, and a great deal more public. He would be making arrests in broad daylight, likely in some costume- not jumping armed thugs in an isolated warehouse in the middle of the night."

"The clown's never been subtle about his humor, that's true" Gordon conceded, relighting his pipe. "So what do you think he's up to, Batman?" Looking up from his pipe, Gordon was only mildly surprised to find that the vigilante was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Harley sat in the corner of their new… well, Mista J called it the "Joker Cave (it was actually just the basement an abandoned comedy club, but he'd insisted on the name) and stocked her new utility belt. In the face of their sudden fame- as opposed to their normal infamy- the Joker had insisted they do their crime fighting properly. That meant utility belts and new gadgets. Of course, all their tools fell into their unique 'theme'- currently, Harley was folding a banana peel so it would fit in one of the belts pouches. The belt was already stocked with stink bombs, sneezing powder, itching powder, laughing-gas canisters, bright purple handcuffs, chattering teeth and specially designed exploding playing cards.

Off in one corner, the Joker was flipping through the news channels, gazing in wonder at the abject stupidity of the average Urban Lemming.

CLICK. _"-emerging hostage crisis, ended before it began by an unlikely hero. Eyewitnesses report that the Joker, along with his henchwoman former psychologist Harleen Quinzell, burst into the auditorium and quickly subdued the Quraqi gunmen…_"

CLICK_. "-not a hero! Have we all forgotten that just a few months ago this madman poisoned a busload of senior citizens with carbon monoxide? Are we so blinded by our own cynicism that we let a few good deeds blind us to the Joker's evil past?_ "

_"Joan, I think you're just bitter. Joker saved three people last night alone, and I don't think…"_

CLICK. _"-has never formally been convicted of any wrongdoing, due to his inability to stand trial. With us is Doctor Shiraz Bilmali, an expert in the rehabilitation of…"_

CLICK._"Joker is a vicious monster and totally beyond redemption, Pat, that's all there is to it."  
"Now Jim I think you're letting your pain and anger cloud your soul. As Christians we are taught to forgive our enemies. As Americans, our justice system is based on the idea that even the worse person can change and be rehabilitated. So as Christians and Americans it's our duty to open our hearts to this clearly reformed man."_

Click_. "That's where you and I disagree, Steven. There is no difference between Batman and the Joker, save that one brutalizes criminals while the other, until recently, struck at civilians. Where's the line between psychopath and vigilante? What we are seeing is a wake-up call! We NEED to put a stop to the vigilante justice which dominates this city! As I said in my book Super Heroes/Super Zeroes..."_

CLICK. _"-your opinion on the Joker, Ma'am?"_

_"I think he's obviously reformed himself. I mean, he's out there saving lives! We should welcome him as another hero, one who'll help save this miserable city. Besides, I think BATMAN'S at least as crazy as he ever was_"

CLICK. _"Thus far there has been no word from City Hall or the Police Department on rumors that they will grant the Joker the same quasi-official status which has been accorded to the Batman. Meanwhile, public opinion continues to mount in favor of this new hero…"_

It was astonishing. He'd murdered them, tortured them, blown up their homes and businesses for years, decades really. Yet a few acts of 'heroism' and all of that was immediately forgotten. Honestly, he was amazed he'd never thought of this particular joke before- to turn his reputation around on them in this way was just…

…just…

The Joker suddenly bolted upright in his seat. He could feel his brain starting to fizz in that wonderful, wonderful way it did when a grand scheme was beginning to percolate. Rushing to his work desk, he swept all the crumpled papers and tools onto the floor and began to furiously scribble. As usual, it was difficult for his hand to keep pace with his brain, but he wasn't complaining!

Over in the corner, Harley smiled tiredly as she saw her man getting back to his work. This whole hero thing was a lot harder than it looked, and frankly it had been getting a little old. She'd admit that it was nicer than the…unpleasantness… in the suburbs, but that really wasn't saying very much. She missed their trips to the Iceberg (Puddin' said real heroes couldn't go drinking with criminals), not to mention all their fun little games with the cops and the freedom to do and take whatever they wanted. She hoped Mistah J found his muse soon, so they could get back to their wonderful normal lives.

"Got an idea, Sweetie Bear?" she asked once his pencil slowed to a more sedate pace.

"I do indeed, Harley. It's going to be HILARIOUS!" Joker cried, leaping from his desk to dance a little jig. "First, we're going to need a searchlight and some black spray paint…"

Batman swung through the Gotham night, high above the city street. As he swung, he pondered the facts of the Joker's latest escapade. Two dangerous super-criminals had been apprehended by the Joker so far, and there were numerous stories of the Clown Prince of Chaos intervening to stop other crimes across the city. Currently, the press alternated between praising him as a reformed man repaying his debt to society and condemning vigilante justice in general. This did not bother him.

What DID bother him was that he had no idea what the clown was up to. While it was impossible to truly understand what was going on inside Joker's diseased mind, Batman was usually able to at least understand the rough outline of his arch foes plans. Generally speaking, they were aimed at causing death, pain and chaos in spectacular fashion- yet his latest exploits had saved dozens of innocent people, and prevented massive chaos. True, the media was full of stories about him, and the underworld was in upheaval, but the Dark Knight felt it unlikely that these were Joker's aims. The media could be stirred into chaos with far more 'traditional' exploits, and the underworld of Gotham was almost always chaotic.

No, there was something else. Something he was missing- some clue that would reveal the truth of the Joker's plan.

However, Batman still had a city to protect, and so long as the Joker wasn't actively threatening anyone, Batman had to maintain his normal patrol schedule. So it was that the Caped Crusader was passing through mid-town when he spotted a makeshift Batsignal light up the sky. It was dim, and the bat-emblem was poorly drawn, but it was unmistakable.

Batman immediately changed direction and headed in the direction of the signal. He'd seen this before and it usually meant one of two things. One, some citizen desperately nneded help and was willing to go to extreme lengths to attract his attention. Two, one of his enemies wanted to attract his attention- either to deliver a message or to lure him into a trap. Either way, he couldn't afford to ignore it. Ash he moved, he contacted Oraclle and informed her of the situation.  
He came to rest on a tall building overlooking the signal's location- the roof of a four story apartment complex. He reached into his utility belt and withdrew a small set of collapsible binoculars. Putting them to his eyes he scanned the rooftop, searching for some clue as to who had summoned him. He was surprised to see the Joker standing openly in the middle of the roof. Quickly, the Dark Knight scanned the rest of the roof, even moving to different vantage points to be sure he checked every angle. The Joker appeared to be alone, with no visible weapons nor any sign of a trap. Satisfied that there was no obvious danger, Batman activated his comm once more.

"Oracle" he said, pitching his voice low so asx not to alert the madman below him "The signal appears to have been made by the Joker- he's waiting on the roof, apparently alone. I'm going to approach him, see what he's up to."

At her terminal, Barbara Gordon grimaced. She'd been afraid that Joker would be making his move soon. This hero routine didn't fool her- better than anyone she knew that the clown was evil in its purest form. She took a deep breath, and when she spoke her voice was calm and level.  
"Understood. Do you need backup?"

"Unlikely" Batman replied "But have Robin stand by just in case. Batman out."

Leaping from his perch, the Dark Knight spread his cape, turning his fall into a controlled glide. The cape's advanced materials billowed out, casting a distinctly bat-like shadow on the roof below. The Joker, standing in the middle of this shadow, looked up and Batman was surprised to see that his arch-enemy was not smiling. Batman landed ten feet away from the demented clown.

"What do you want Joker?" Batman asked, expecting some ridiculous answer.

"To form a partnership" Joker replied.

"…What?" Batman asked, caught completely wrong footed.

"Look here, Bats," Joker said, beginning to pace the roof as he spoke. Automatically, Batman's eyes followed the mad mime. "This town is falling apart- criminals running amok, cops taking bribes, leash laws being ignored… it's crazy! Now, apart there's only so much we can do. But together there'd be no stopping us! We'd be the perfect team! You know me better than anyone, just like I know you better than anyone. You've studied the criminal element for years, while I have firsthand knowledge of it. I'm devilishly clever and handsome, you've got a cool car! Together, we'd be fantastic a Super Team! We can even invite some of your other pals from the Justice League- y'know Blue Buffoon, Wonder Bra and Sea-Man! Whattaya say Bats?"

"You're insane" Batman replied, his voice cold and unemotional.

"That's what they tell me, Batso" Joker replied "But that really doesn't answer my question, does it? What do you say chum? Shall we combine forces to become an unstoppable duo of Super Friends?"

"I will never join you, Joker" Batmn growled, his anger rising. "You may have fooled some of the city with your new hero act, but I can see through you. You never change- this is just another one of your sick jokes and sooner or later you'll return to form. And I'll be there, wainting to put you back in your cage."

Firing off a line, the Dark Knight swung up away. The Joker raced to the edge of the roof and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Batsy! Come back! WE CAN HAVE DECODER RIIIINNNGSSS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Joker placed his hands on his hips and smiled to himself. Now that the Dork Knight was properly tweaked he could move on to the next stage of his plan.

a/n

Wow. Six damn months. I got no excuse. Sorry. I'll try and have the next chapter up a little quicker.


End file.
